Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize