This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
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I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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