That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
