you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
