Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
