did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
