its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
