you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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