He disabled his match.com account in front of me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
