Taylor Swift is so right about you.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Its about making memories worth repressing
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
