So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
