my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize