How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
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