we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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