You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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