I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize