pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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