he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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