Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
