I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
