I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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