Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
