Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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