Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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