Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Randomize