Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
