Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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