No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Rumble strips road head = magical
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
