theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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