I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
