too bad you live with your parents still
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
