I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You are a genius and a whore.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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