i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
