Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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