I could have mohawked her pubes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
