Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Randomize
