Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
