So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
