I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
