this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
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