I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I have feelings that need drinking.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
