Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
