Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
