You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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