You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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