Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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