you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
