are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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