Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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