we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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