I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Randomize
