i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
