I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
