Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
We smell like vodka and hangover
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